It's a busy week as we begin fall activities and a new rotation. Tomorrow Carey begins his month long rotation in Cardiothoracic surgery. That means that we survived transplant, yay! I know we had lots of prayers going out last month and we are so grateful.

I'm not sure what to expect with CT, we haven't heard much about that service. His call schedule won't change, he is still on call Fridays. I like that schedule because he is off Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday. That leaves him available to go to church and our Life Group on Sundays. I'm really hoping that he won't be home as late in the evening during this rotation, he was home about 8:30 each evening during transplant. AGW struggled with that quite a bit and became even more of a daddy's girl! She sure did miss him!

I was very proud of the growth I saw in Carey during transplant. He did have to deal with some conflicting personalities and work ethics (or lack of) and learned a lot about choosing battles and holding his tongue. It wasn't easy, but he never said the things he was really thinking (except when venting to me :) and that probably made the next 6.5 years a lot more bearable.

AGW is still learning and challenging her independence through the terrible twos. This last week she has been a little more testy than usual and is ignoring the word "NO!". She is pushing her limits to see what she can get away with as well as acting out a little in response to Baby Hayes. I have a feeling I'm about to have to become a little more firm with her...

Tomorrow we have orientation at her new school so I'll be sure to take lots of pictures. We also have playgroups at the church on Wednesday and Thursday. AGW loves going to play with her friends! It will be nice to have something to do outside of the home and great for AGW to have the social interaction.

We had a check up for Baby Hayes this morning all is well. He's is right on track and the pregnancy is perfect. I'll start having weekly appointments now which means that we are getting close, finally! We do have a surgery scheduled for October 6th, but we're going to wait and see how things look the last week of September (I'll be 39 weeks then) and hopefully we won't need the surgery. If there have been changes in my cervix at 39 weeks then we'll let mother nature proceed, if there has been no progress, then we will continue with the surgery.

I'm still hoping against the surgery (but just praying for a healthy baby either way!) for several reasons. The first (and a BIG worry of mine) is that AGW can't be in the room for surgery or recovery and we have no one to care for her during those hours. She can stay the night with us in the hospital after the baby is born, so that's not a problem, but during the actual surgery I have no idea what to do with her! The second concern is that I am so limited in activity after surgery. AGW isn't going to understand why I can't play outside with her or go for our walks or even go up and down the stairs as much. Not to mention the fact that I can't drive for two weeks. And lastly, I don't think I was as successful with nursing after a c-section and hope to struggle less in that area this time around. So, even though a c-section works a lot better with Carey's schedule, I plan on walking, squatting, eating spicy foods, and whatever else I can find that induces labor naturally. Ultimately, it's not up to me anyways so we'll see what happens!

Nursery Sneak Peak

Here it is, finally! A sneak peak into the new nursery! We are just lacking a few final touches. Maybe I'll have it done before he gets here :)
The ice cream truck came by the house for the 1st time today! This was a happy little girl!

AGW loves helping me walk the dogs. Not bad for a 2 yr old!

AGW glanced up from her laptop just long enough to give me a wave then immediately returned to her work saying "I busy" :)

a few photos

Here are a few picures as promised! :)

We have a membership to the aquarium and take advantage of it!

Backpack Sunday at church

Enjoying a little ice cream at an adorable parlor in our suburb.

Little AGW sitting pretty at the park

AGW has been spoiled lately! This pool was in one of the several packages she received in the mail this week. She loves the idea of having a swimming pool but does not like that grass gets in it and makes it dirty. She refuses to sit and play in it! She will however, climb on to her chair and sit with her feet crossed in hopes that her kitty will take interest in the water! What a silly girl!

Our Sweet Emma

This morning AGW woke up bright and early at 4:30. This is the time our alarm goes off so she may have heard it. She was also "col-col" (cold) because we are now sleeping with the windows open and her fan made it nice and cool upstairs. I had a decision to make: do I lay down and try to get her to go back to bed and risk not being able to make Carey breakfast and pack his lunch? Nope, I couldn't do that. She was thrilled to be able to get up and eat breakfast with her Daddycat and watch Thomas the Train!

Even with our alarm blaring across the room, I never actually woke up to hear AGW. But fortunately AGW has a watcher. After Carey hit the snooze button and I was back to sleep, Emma didn't give up. She jumped up and down at my pillow crying. This is the first sign that something is wrong. Emma never needs anything during the night. So I knew immediately that AGW must be upset. Sure enough, as I headed upstairs to check on her I heard her cries for Momma. What a great keeper Emma is! She sure does love her baby! I'm so grateful for my loving, caring, and protective Emma. She adores AGW and takes such good care of our family!

Everyone loves our big, goofy Cash and so do I, but he doesn't care for our family in the mothering way that Emma does. So here is a tribute to my sweet Emma (and proof that AGW is the love of her life!)

Church Groups and Hospital Tours

I'm really bad at starting a new post and then walking away and never finishing it. I met to publish one on Friday but after reading it today I just trashed it! We had a wonderful weekend with Carey being home half of Saturday and all of today (Sunday). We splurged and got ice cream at Creamy Whip which is a cute and old fashioned shop in Mt. Washington. AGW loved sitting on the sidewalk at a hot pink table and watching the cars drive by. We went to church this morning and were stunned at the turn out for Backpack Sunday. The church called all of the preschoolers and elementary kids to the front (all of them wearing their backpacks, of course) and said a blessing over them and the up coming school year. AGW looked precious wearing her ladybug backpack!

Speaking of churches, I believe that Carey and I have found our church home. We agree with the church's values and mission and love that it is a family centered church. AGW and I will begin attending a Christian Moms Group every Wednesday morning and also Mothers Of Preschoolers once a month. Both groups meet at the church and will be a great way for the two of us to connect with new friends. Carey and I have also joined a small group for younger couples that meets on Sunday nights. We're excited to meet new people and become more active in the church.

After church today we all enjoyed a long nap and then went swimming, AGW's favorite activity!

Right now Carey is reading (I think. He's actually probably asleep) an assignment that is due tomorrow. He still has labs, lectures, and reading assignments, to keep up with along with his logs. He's doing a great job juggling all of it, but I can tell that it's very discouraging when he doesn't have enough time in the day to do everything he would like to. I'm trying to be very patient and ask as little as possible of him, but I'm getting very anxious about this baby coming and still have lots to do around the house.

I have managed to paint the bathroom and bedroom and I'm doing as much around the house by myself as I can. The nesting phase is in full force and I have a running list of things that need to be completed before the baby comes. Luckily Carey is not on call this weekend so you better believe I will take full advantage of his time!

Last week AGW and I went on a tour of the hospital. She did really well and was on her best behavior. It did cause a little confusion though when we viewed the nursery and I explained that baby Hayes would come from the hospital and go home with us. She thought that meant he was coming home with us that very night! So when we began to leave the hospital she wasn't about to go anywhere without "her baby" and she didn't mind letting everyone know it! Poor girl was broken hearted and I had to carry her out sobbing about wanting her baby!

It's late tonight so I'll try to post pictures tomorrow.

Hanging in there

This week has been slightly challenging so far, but we're hanging in there! It's nothing we can't handle! ;) I'm finding myself more and more emotionally overwhelmed, ( I'm pretty sure it's safe to blame it on pregnancy hormones) scatter brained, and exhausted. AGW is going through an intense toddler time and I'm really trying to remind myself that she's learning, growing, and experimenting. She doesn't deliberately act out very often, but she is teaching me lots about patience and letting her learn, even if it means making a mess or causing us to go at a much slower pace :)

Carey has worked 14 hour days this week and lives to sleep! He's handling everything very well but is a little bored this rotation because he doesn't get to operate much. He will still have lots of questions about transplant stuff on his Step III exam so he's learning as much as possible.
Our evenings go like this: we eat as soon as he gets home then he plays with AGW while I clean up. Then it's bath time and up to bed for AGW. This is at about 9 and Carey falls asleep with her each night. At 10 I go wake him and he crawls into bed with the puppies (who miss him and want cuddle time too!). Then he's back up at 4:30 am to do it all again. I would love a little time with him in the evenings but he'd just fall asleep anyway!
Not all rotations are this strenuous and we only have 2 weeks left on this service so we're all just hanging on until next week.

As far as the pregnancy goes, I'm just clinging to September. Once august is over I'll have just a few weeks left, cooler weather, and a few hours to myself when agw starts preschool. (mixed emotions!!) I know that a 2nd baby is ony going to make things more chaotic but I'm ready to be normal again (physically) and ready to see my baby! We'll continue to adapt and adjust as we have been, that's what survival is all about!

I feel the need to apologize. Carey and I had an idea of what we were getting into with residency, but we didn't do a good job preparing our family and friends. Some were not expecting the changes that have occurred and may not fully understand our life and situation. We knew that Carey would be worked to the bone, have lots of intense requirements and pressure thrown at him, and be under overwhelming stress.We should have done a better job of setting up our family and friends for all of the changes. We are more happy and blessed than we ever imagined a medical family going through the first year of surgical residency could be! We were both exposed to the trials and tribulations of residency in short bursts during the last 2 years of medical school and I was able to read a few books that warned me of the challenges I would face as a medical spouse. Of course, anyone would love for residency to be a 9-5 gig with weekends off, but common sense tells us that emergencies still happen on weekends and at 3 a.m.! Therefore doctors are required to cover their service 24-7. We knew this going into it. We knew there would be call nights, long hours, almost impossible demands, and very impossible upper level residents and attendings. But you just can't prepare mentally or physically for the drain of a 90 hour work week. You cant prepare to suddenly be left alone to raise a two year old and run the house. So we cope by taking it one day at a time and counting each tiny little blessing.

This is my view of the situation: I am so fortunate to be married to a man who's ministry is to heal others. Everyday that Carey leaves this house he comes face to face with those who need God's love the most. He may be the very last person they see on this earth or he may be the person who saves their life. Either way, God's love shines through him to those in desperate need. He also has the opportunity to "heal" all of those doctors and nurses who have been harden by the medical field. Not everyone at the hospital approaches the day with a positive outlook. Many surgeons and nurses are egotistical, neurotic, self-centered, and pretty much hate life. They too need a kind, patient, forgiving, and non-judgemental, person around to give them just a tiny ray of hope that there is still happiness in this world. Carey has such a gentle and kind hearted nature about him, it's hard to deny that God is using him as an example to his coworkers.

My role is very new to me. In fact, I'm still learning as I go and I didn't realize what my role was until a month into residency. Carey's calling is to heal and my calling is to serve him and our family so that he can heal. While Carey is the head of the household, I am the backbone. My job is to make life outside of the hospital as peaceful, loving, and stress-free as I possibly can. I have a long way to go, but each day I set out to serve God by serving my family. I do this by taking as much responsibility from Carey as I possibly can so that when he is at home, he's not distracted by chores, finances, or other honey-do's. Other than mowing the lawn (I attempted to do that too but was banned from even touching the thing after unknowingly putting myself, and the dogs in danger! :)I try to keep life at home very simple for Carey. My calling is the same as most wives and mothers and I feel so blessed that I am able to commit myself to my family full-time instead of having to work outside of the home as well.

Because we view our roles as our ministry or calling, we can't help but feel very blessed and fortunate. Although I do get lonely and there are times when it seems that I haven't seen Carey all week, I know that everyone in every walk of life has their ups and downs too. Life isn't perfect for anyone. And although some days Carey misses his little girl more than he can stand or wants to put some hot-headed surgeon in his/her place, at the end of the day he loves surgery and can't imagine doing anything else with his life. The long hours and financial strain aren't easy. God didn't create life to be easy. He gives of challenges that we CAN'T handle so that we have to come to Him for guidance, strength, and direction. Knowing this, at the end of every day, we aren't unhappy or regretful about our situation or location. In fact, we have a blast exploring our new city and Carey feels very fortunate to be involved in such an awesome surgical program and university system. We take advantage of all of our blessings (and we have too many to count it seems!) and we enjoy all of the time we have together in our new city and home! So just keep in mind that if Carey seems exhausted, that's because he averages 4-5 hours of sleep each night just like every other resident, but he's handling everything very well! And if you happen to read my blog on a bad day, just remember that I am just like every other pregnant medical spouse and stay at home mom of a two year old and I have to vent somehow! We knew that it wouldn't be easy and I apologize for not preparing our family and friends for the change. I should have done a better job discussing things like Carey's sudden disappearance from the face of the earth and my emotional roller coaster as I learn to handle the changing schedules and rotations. While we knew what was ahead for us, we didn't prepare any of our family at all. Please understand that we love our beautiful life and wouldn't change a thing. Although exhausted and sometimes slightly crazy, we couldn't be more happy and blessed! Welcome to the life of a resident! We're glad to have all of our encouraging and supportive family and friends along for the wild ride! :)

K rom the computer. :)

K I just realized that I can send text messages from my phone to the blog! Expect many little posts of short stories and thoughts between my long updates f

Instead of Texas, agw calls our cat Caxes. It's a cross between Cat and Texas :)

Fire hydrants, Music, Swimming

Have you ever noticed this fire hydrant in our front yard?


Apparently, neither have I.


I'm just going to leave it at that. I can't even talk about it. I will say that my very sweet, loving, and forgiving husband surprised me when he came home from work with my favorite feel-good foods: peanut m&m's and butter pecan ice cream. What a man!

We received free Jonas Brother tickets in the mail a few weeks ago. Because we love to go and do things, we couldn't pass up a free show. Even if it meant suffering through a Jonas Brothers concert with thousands of tweenagers. AGW couldn't have had a better time. She had her daddy's undivided attention and could sing and dance along with lots of "friends". She had a blast.




Last night Carey literally crashed on top of AGW. She didn't seem to mind though!


This girl is possibly even more of a river rat than her momma. She thinks her life revolves around swimming and will be the first to point out any body of water.



Usually when AGW hears the dogs barking she perks up and says "Daddy HOME!!!!". Today she started something new "Hayes home?". Silly girl is ready for her little brother but a little confused about his arrival. :)

Nothin new Tuesday

There isn't much to tell today. Carey is hanging in there this rotation and I pray each day that he makes it home before 9:00 p.m. He is having a hard time balancing work and home life when he's only home to put AGW to bed! He's been getting a quick 5 hour nap before I push him out of bed at 4:30 and out the door (at least with a hot breakfast!) by 5:00. AGW is struggling to understand why her daddy is working so much and when he will be home. The lack of consistency is difficult for her. She and I continue to frequent the gym (although Hayes is really starting to limit my productivity!) and local parks. Other than that, we are inside more than I would like to escape the heat and humidity.

Doesn't this picture make her look so big?


Silly cat!


Oh so pretty.


She bribed Emma in with a stick. Then wouldn't let her out! Cash was of course jealous that he couldn't get in!


New talent?


I went to find a "going home" outfit for Hayes. How could I pass this up? Besides, she'll need it, right?


I managed to drag Carey on another hike- post call. Let's just say he WAS the walking dead!



You will never believe how much this girl loves shoes already! It's scary.


Carey is spoiled rotten! He mentioned that he was craving a cookie cake with all of that frosting. AGW had a blast making the poor-mans version! Far better than store bought!

I'm trying so hard not to go to sleep. If I take a nap on a call day then it's even more difficult to fall asleep at night. The house is very quiet and all of the animals (even AGW) are resting. I can't rest though or it will be a long night.

This morning I met with two other surgery spouses. I was so excited to finally meet some other women who are going through the same trials and tribulations as me. We had a playdate at a park that I had wanted to visit, so that worked out well too. The park is in another suburb that is just a little bit closer to the hospital. It's were many residents and their families live, and we would have loved to join that area, but it's quite a bit more pricey. The houses are all so charming and old, I loved driving through and taking it all in. But, I adore our little street and our very own house just the same.

So in meeting these ladies, I was hoping to gain some positive insight into my future. I was hoping that being a surgery resident's spouse is really not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. I was also hoping to find that they all ban together like sorority sisters for support, playdates, outings, anything to keep from eating dinner alone most nights of the week. I had high hopes. Maybe a little too high.

Although very sympathetic and willing to offer any advice, it seems that we are for the most part, on our own. There is a playgroup that meets twice a month and one or two other activities planned each month, but nothing consistent or routine. That would be difficult though, because each spouse has children of different ages and we all live in various parts of town.

It seems too, that these ladies (who are several years ahead of us) are growing very tired of the surgical lifestyle. They maybe caught up in the "if we can just make it to... stage. I've read about that stage and hoped it didn't really exist. That's the point when your children think Daddy lives at the hospital and you pretty much do to. You cling to ideas of just making it to the end of the rotation, or year, or residency, instead of cherishing and enjoying each day. I can see how enjoying each day could become more and more difficult as each year passes and responsibility at home and at the hospital increases. That's why I am bound and determined to find and maintain a strong support group.

One of the spouses travels a lot. Her daughter isn't two yet and she can get cheap flights home pretty often. That must help give her something to look forward to, a break from the mundane, and a great chance to keep in touch with everyone. Maybe one day...

For now, we'll continue to enjoy our new city by visiting new parks and the occasional meal out :)

Today our friend Valerie took AGW and I to http://www.bonbonerie.com/ for lunch. It was so cute and yummy! (I can't seem to get the hyperlink to work, so just copy and paste the link when you're ready to view some amazing pastries!) AGW fell in love with the little ladybug and bumblebee cookies and we will surprise Carey with a mini keylime pie, his favorite!



So, here is a quick update on Carey: So far he is surviving transplant surgery. The days are long, he is there by 5:30 a.m. and I can expect him home anytime between 8-9:30 p.m. He isn't getting to operate much because he is at the bottom of the totem pole (attending surgeon, fellow surgeon, chief, him, then medical student). He is lucky that he's tall enough to see over everyone and get a glimpse of what is going on! Also, this is a different hospital than the last rotation and they still rely on the tradition paper chart system. Nothing is done electronically, so all notes are hand-written. It's a slow and tedious process. Notes will be his specialty when he's done with this rotation! I think that he gets in on an occasional surgery when one of the upper level surgeons is gone. Other than that, he works all day to do the paperwork that no one else wants to do, but at least he's surviving.

Oh! Have I given an update on Baby Hayes yet? If I already did, just chalk this next part up to pregnancy brain. We finally visited a doctor here in 'Nati. He seems very friendly and outgoing and I like him already. AGW was slightly confused by him because he was wearing the same outfit her daddy wears. I think this helped her feel a little more at ease when he was around. He knew to ask her about her lovie (big points with that one!) and he also was very interested in what movie she was watching on her DVD player. These things gave him points in my book as well. Not much has changed, the pregnancy is going well and we are still hoping for a vbac (vaginal birth after Cesarean). I was slightly disappointed to learn that he doesn't usually induce labor after a c-section because the risk of uterine rupture quadruples (it's still pretty low though). If Hayes comes naturally around 37-38 weeks then we are good to go forward. If by 39 weeks we've had no changes, we will have another c-section. Either way, we won't know anything until just before the due date. My mom booked her flight to come help me on October 7th. This means he'll probably decide to come at the end of September :)

Weekend plans include lots of outdoor playtime, swimming, and hopefully putting together the crib. We'll see...

Happy Birthday Aisley Grace!

Today is a big day for my Baby Grace: her 2nd Birthday! We started celebrating on Sunday when we went to the "zoon". Her favorite animals were the camel, lion, giraffe, and of course, turtle. She's a big fan of turtles. :)

This morning after Carey left for work I got to work myself. We don't know anyone to have a big part for little AGW so I needed to do the little things to make today special. First off was the family birthday tradition of the Birthday Door. Each year we will decorate the kiddo's bedroom door so that they are surprised when they wake up on their big day. AGW LOVED her door this morning, it had "boons" on it!

Then down the stairs we came into the living/dining room. MORE "boons"! Life couldn't be better for this 2 year old!

Her special birthday breakfast consisted of waffles with pink icing and candles along with scrambled eggs. She was in hog heaven.

After getting dressed in her birthday outfit she was given 1 gift: purple nail polish. Oh so exciting! We immediately needed to do birthday pedicures and manicures. :)

At that point the birthday girl decided that she would like to go to the park. Even though today is the hottest day of the year and Cincinnati is under and Excessive Heat Warning, (heat index of 110! I thought we moved north?)we drove to the park. We visited a local park that we hadn't been to before because I thought that it had more shade than our usual hang out. Luckily, it did. In fact, it also has a great hiking trail that we ventured down. I was in heaven at that point!

This afternoon we will decorate birthday cupcakes and we are hoping that Carey gets home in time to spend a little time with the birthday girl. Fingers crossed!