I feel the need to apologize. Carey and I had an idea of what we were getting into with residency, but we didn't do a good job preparing our family and friends. Some were not expecting the changes that have occurred and may not fully understand our life and situation. We knew that Carey would be worked to the bone, have lots of intense requirements and pressure thrown at him, and be under overwhelming stress.We should have done a better job of setting up our family and friends for all of the changes. We are more happy and blessed than we ever imagined a medical family going through the first year of surgical residency could be! We were both exposed to the trials and tribulations of residency in short bursts during the last 2 years of medical school and I was able to read a few books that warned me of the challenges I would face as a medical spouse. Of course, anyone would love for residency to be a 9-5 gig with weekends off, but common sense tells us that emergencies still happen on weekends and at 3 a.m.! Therefore doctors are required to cover their service 24-7. We knew this going into it. We knew there would be call nights, long hours, almost impossible demands, and very impossible upper level residents and attendings. But you just can't prepare mentally or physically for the drain of a 90 hour work week. You cant prepare to suddenly be left alone to raise a two year old and run the house. So we cope by taking it one day at a time and counting each tiny little blessing.

This is my view of the situation: I am so fortunate to be married to a man who's ministry is to heal others. Everyday that Carey leaves this house he comes face to face with those who need God's love the most. He may be the very last person they see on this earth or he may be the person who saves their life. Either way, God's love shines through him to those in desperate need. He also has the opportunity to "heal" all of those doctors and nurses who have been harden by the medical field. Not everyone at the hospital approaches the day with a positive outlook. Many surgeons and nurses are egotistical, neurotic, self-centered, and pretty much hate life. They too need a kind, patient, forgiving, and non-judgemental, person around to give them just a tiny ray of hope that there is still happiness in this world. Carey has such a gentle and kind hearted nature about him, it's hard to deny that God is using him as an example to his coworkers.

My role is very new to me. In fact, I'm still learning as I go and I didn't realize what my role was until a month into residency. Carey's calling is to heal and my calling is to serve him and our family so that he can heal. While Carey is the head of the household, I am the backbone. My job is to make life outside of the hospital as peaceful, loving, and stress-free as I possibly can. I have a long way to go, but each day I set out to serve God by serving my family. I do this by taking as much responsibility from Carey as I possibly can so that when he is at home, he's not distracted by chores, finances, or other honey-do's. Other than mowing the lawn (I attempted to do that too but was banned from even touching the thing after unknowingly putting myself, and the dogs in danger! :)I try to keep life at home very simple for Carey. My calling is the same as most wives and mothers and I feel so blessed that I am able to commit myself to my family full-time instead of having to work outside of the home as well.

Because we view our roles as our ministry or calling, we can't help but feel very blessed and fortunate. Although I do get lonely and there are times when it seems that I haven't seen Carey all week, I know that everyone in every walk of life has their ups and downs too. Life isn't perfect for anyone. And although some days Carey misses his little girl more than he can stand or wants to put some hot-headed surgeon in his/her place, at the end of the day he loves surgery and can't imagine doing anything else with his life. The long hours and financial strain aren't easy. God didn't create life to be easy. He gives of challenges that we CAN'T handle so that we have to come to Him for guidance, strength, and direction. Knowing this, at the end of every day, we aren't unhappy or regretful about our situation or location. In fact, we have a blast exploring our new city and Carey feels very fortunate to be involved in such an awesome surgical program and university system. We take advantage of all of our blessings (and we have too many to count it seems!) and we enjoy all of the time we have together in our new city and home! So just keep in mind that if Carey seems exhausted, that's because he averages 4-5 hours of sleep each night just like every other resident, but he's handling everything very well! And if you happen to read my blog on a bad day, just remember that I am just like every other pregnant medical spouse and stay at home mom of a two year old and I have to vent somehow! We knew that it wouldn't be easy and I apologize for not preparing our family and friends for the change. I should have done a better job discussing things like Carey's sudden disappearance from the face of the earth and my emotional roller coaster as I learn to handle the changing schedules and rotations. While we knew what was ahead for us, we didn't prepare any of our family at all. Please understand that we love our beautiful life and wouldn't change a thing. Although exhausted and sometimes slightly crazy, we couldn't be more happy and blessed! Welcome to the life of a resident! We're glad to have all of our encouraging and supportive family and friends along for the wild ride! :)