faithfulness, humility, and the lack thereof....

My sweet, sweet Aisley is starting to ask those challenging questions: who made God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit? Where do they live? Where do angels live? What do they do? Can just die when you die so we can go to heaven together? Can we just not talk about dying anymore and talk about ring-around-the roses instead? (She explained that talking about dying makes her feel worried and nervous.) I wasn’t prepared for these questions. I really thought I’d have 2 more years until this type of conversation came about. Lastly she asked if our orphan from Africa is growing in my belly. Now this is all so funny and cute until I have to explain the sad, sad, truth. How do you teach a 4 year old that her baby brother or sister is going to be born of another mother and then some tragic event will cause her to be permanently separated from her birthparents? I’m guilty of shielding my kids from the cruel realities of the world and sugarcoating life to avoid the “hard stuff”. Isn’t it that only natural? But now it’s important for her to understand in her own little way, what her sibling will have to experience before getting to come home. This also means that I have to step out of my comfort zone and face what my child could be experiencing right now. Pray for her early years, will you? Earlier this week Carey and I began to really explore fundraising options. I realized just how difficult raising money for adoption will be. It’s extremely hard to announce to people that our family has made a decision to adopt, but we are totally and completely reliant on their financial assistance. It’s hard to put pride aside and ask for help. It’s hard to face the possibility of rejection when someone doesn’t share this vision with us and just says no. And it’s hard to imagine and risk failure. What if we can’t raise the money? We won’t be able to bring our child home, to save her from her miserable orphanage and bring her into our loving home? And how do you give back the money you have earned? What if you’ve already paid the adoption agency and can’t get a refund, how will your donors feel when there’s no adoption and no reimbursement? This is a way that God is humbling me and growing my faith. I believe this is one of many ways He’ll grow us through our adoption journey and we’re grateful that each of you are in this with us.