How about an adoption update?


I wish I could give you more, but there really is no news. We’re so close to finishing up paperwork and training and should get the remodeling done in the next week or two. I’m not sure if I’ve actually explained much about the paperwork I keep mentioning, so let me elaborate. Carey and I have to be cleared at the local, state, and federal levels in regards to child endangerment history or any other criminal record. We submit all financial statements, bank statements, proof of house, car, medical, insurance, proof that insurance will cover the adopted child, proof of life insurance, proof of employment, tax documents, proof of pet vaccinations, medical statements for all four of us, 7 lengthy referrals, many notarized forms, individual profiles, 10 hours of online training, and the super difficult educational workbook. Once we’ve completed and gathered everything we’re required to submit, we’ll have a fire inspection done, and finally start meeting with our caseworker and he’ll do the home safety audit.


I’ve had friends who flew through this process and didn’t have a single bump in the road. I am certainly not that person.


For instance: there were about 25 cans of paint stored in our basement within a few feet of the water heater and furnace. Oops! There were “dangerous” items in every room of our house: screws, scissors, tools, medicine, cleaning products. Obviously they weren’t in a place where my kiddos could get them, but they all have to be stored appropriately and locked. I had to remove the old fashion hinge locks from the closets upstairs and remove the pile of toys, shoes, and jackets typically stored at the foot of the stairs because the interfere with our fire escape route.


Fire escape route? Yes. They should be posted on each level of the house and there should be proof of routine fire drills. Aisley did not handle this well. In her sweet little mind, the thought of a fire ever causing her to climb out her bedroom window had never occurred. Terrified. Yes, she is. I’ve damaged my child.


Also, let me say that the amount of personal reflection required through our workbook is gruesome. Everyone has some sort of baggage from their past, it’s what shapes us as a person, giving us unique approaches and contributions to life. I just wasn’t aware of some of my baggage. Not only have I damaged my child, now I’m ripping open my own wounds and pouring salt in them. Ok, that was totally exaggerated. :) The reflection part hasn’t been easy, but I think it will be helpful in understanding and adapting to the needs of my loved ones.


Finally, we have updates on finances. I hesitate to mention this because it’s such a tiny issue and there’s so much more to our adoption story than stinkin’ money, but I truly believe that this is an area where God is going to move mountains and I want to be careful to give Him all of the glory for our success. In order to do that, it’s important to be as humble as possible and plainly state that He has brought in enough through Carey’s extra shifts, donations, bracelet sales to cover all home study related fees, repair the wall and electrical issue, and put down new flooring. (Flooring: this is a new problem and it’s totally not cosmetic. Last year I had enough of the stinky, stained carpet in our living room. I took it upon myself to impulsively rip it up and take a chance on what was below. Luckily, there was beautiful, original, wood flooring below, but it was parquet wood tiling. We hoped it would last a few years but one by one, the 72 year old tiles popped up, cracked, and broke. We tried all sorts of different adhesive techniques, and finally had to admit defeat last week when we realized the floor was a major safety issue because of its uneven surface and risk of asbestos. Fortunately, we live in a tiny house and won’t be buying thousands of square feet of flooring!)


We still have a huge hurdle ahead of us: home study approval. We were approved to apply for adoption, now we have to have home study approval to move forward. Once we start meeting with our caseworker, he’ll evaluate our mental, emotional, physical, and financial, ability to adopt. I hope I’m not ahead of myself or deceived in saying that I’m confident that we’ll pass 3 out of those four areas. My faith is in God as He continues to mature us and provide for us financially.


Continue to remember our journey in prayer, especially our little one in waiting. Thanks, friends!

Christmas with toddlers

So, how's your Christmas shopping going? Is anyone else torn to pieces this time of year when it comes to spending and giving? You'd think after all of my ranting about the poverty crises of the world, that I wouldn't have much of a battle, but I do. I really do. I LOVE giving gifts. I especially love giving them to a rotten pair of toddlers around here. But about 5o thousand times a day I kick, trip over, and sit on, an abundance of toys. Check the crevasses of my couch and you’ll find a dozen pet shop critters, handfuls of legos, and a remote or two. All of this along with the mounds of toys in the basement and closets prove that we DO NOT need any more toys. And yet…there will be toys for Christmas. Unless Aisley gets her way and Santa brings her a white pony. (Dear Santa, she’s already got a white pony. See picture below.)

Fortunately for me, the grandparents are all awesome gift givers. That leaves only a few things for us to give from Santa. This year Santa is bringing the Let’s Play School Doll from Nenuco and Alphie the learning robot. Santa and the grandparents will undoubtedly score major points as Aisley is now old enough to realize that Mom and Dad only added to the book collection. So lame.


This year I’ve decided to involve the kids in the thrill of giving gifts by hanging a few extra stockings on the mantel. Aisley will have the privilege of praying for and filling the stocking of her sponsored friend from Ethiopia; Elsie, the sweet little lady across the street; and our dear friend Ron, a special needs man we adore from a block over. She’ll pick out a sweet treat and small gift for each of the neighbors and several tiny treasures to send to Ethiopia. These aren’t big tasks, but hopefully over time she’ll create Christmas memories that are Christ centered instead of self centered. What are some ways you teach the true meaning of Christmas to your toddlers?

Giving Tuesday

It's Giving Tuesday! Why not give AND receive? Start buy filling stockings with our adoption bracelet. Click on our etsy link to shop with meaning!

Thankful

I’m so thankful for you, friend. Thanks for following us through life. :)

Sheep or Goats?

If you’re getting tired of reading about my convictions and how we should give to the poor, well, you might as well skip to my next post. Maybe it’ll make you feel nice and fuzzy inside. :)

For several months I’ve struggled with convictions about loving my neighbor as myself and giving to the least of these. I, for one, do not want to be one of the goats to the left. I’ve also struggled with how to love the Lord your God, with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your strength, while maintaining my existing priorities. And where exactly is my heart if my treasure is in my children? Paul’s life demonstrated clearly that to live is Christ. What does my life demonstrate? To live is… food? Sleeping? Bible studies? Throw a little James in there and a sermon series on stewardship and I’m a wrecked ship!

Now, let’s get one thing out of the way. This isn’t a salvation issue. There’s grace, faith, and works. For a while now, God has been addressing the works. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve prayed for guidance in this department or combed over scripture looking for clear answers. Forgive me for repetition of the word struggle. I really don’t know how else to describe it. As I ran through scripture and visualized the early church, my struggle only deepened. It seems to me that when you consider the teaching of the gospels, study the context in which they are written, breakdown their Hebrew and Greek origins… certain passages still read the same.

Granted, a few minor details have changed with the times, but I can’t seem to get past the fact that if I love God with all of my heart, but don’t love His people as myself, then I kinda don’t really love God with all of my heart. This bothers me, which is a good sign, so I pray for God to break my heart and open my eyes. You know, the same lyrics we all sing in the car, but secretly hope God won’t really act on. Well actually, at first I had to pray for God to give me the desire to pray for those things because I didn’t truly want to pray to feel the pain of others. He heard this request and granted it. Soon I sincerely begged for God to open my eyes and break my heart for others. This too, He granted.

Combine a broken heart for others with total confusion of the New Testament and you get my ship wreck. I’m at a place where I’m totally uncomfortable claiming my devotion to this amazing, incredible, sovereign God, while turning my back on His hurting people and clear commands to care for them. But what does this look like in my life? Am I truly called to surrender all?

This discussion came up recently and left me further in a hole. If God loves us, does He want us to give so much that we can’t take care of ourselves? Do we serve more than we tend to our children? Is it wrong to save and plan for the future? That evening left me with more questions and deeper conviction. I would like to think that God finally led me to this conclusion: He asks differently of each of us at different times. How much more can He be glorified when we’re asked to give in the most inconvenient times? Since we each have our own timelines it makes perfect sense that my answers didn’t align with others’ during the discussion. It doesn’t make anyone right or wrong.

As for my own conviction, tonight before writing I “stumbled upon” 1 John 3:16-18:

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

I know for certain that I’m going to live this out imperfectly. I know that I still rely heavily on emotion and that interferes with my ability to listen and obey when the Holy Spirit nudges me. I also know that I’m young, naïve, and unsettled in many ways, and these will sometimes make it a little easier to give in to impulse and resist the status quo if asked to do so. My goal is to make it a habit now to put others before myself and resist the urge to get comfortable in life. No comfort here is worth being a goat on the left.

:)

Peace, Love, Joy, Parenting?

There are 3 topics that I’ve wanted to write about lately and I hate that I’ll only cover one of them today. Today I’ll discuss how God is moving in my heart concerning parenting, but look for a post about Being Comfy and The Many Blessings of Adoption Fundraising soon.
I’m just so grateful that God chose to use ordinary men and women to illustrate His promises and lessons through the words of the Bible, aren’t you? Imagine how much more difficult it would be to understand Jesus’ teachings if he didn’t use James (his brother who lived under the same roof as God in the flesh and didn’t believe, even mocked him!), Peter (who’s emotional instability and fits of anger I totally relate to), and Paul (who’s prestigious life serves as an example of how to die to ourselves).

I’ve been stuck on certain convictions for a while now and I’m so grateful that God is faithful to reveal answers in His own time. One area that I’ve been praying over for many, many, months is in the parenting department. I recognized long ago that I’m incapable of being the kind of parent that God desires me to be if I don’t ask Him to guide me in this area. In my months of prayer God has opened my eyes to different ways to show my sweet babies love, mercy, and grace, but it isn’t always easy. I find many times that I want to throw a temper tantrum right along with them- and often do!

About a year ago I remember thinking that I’m supposed to mirror Christ’s love in this parenting gig, so I should look at His life and find some examples to use as I go. It didn’t take long to realize that Jesus didn’t have kids. You won’t be surprised to know that in my own self righteousness and lack of humility, I sure did approach God with this prayer: “God, I know that you tell me to trust in you and you will direct my path and I should give everything in me to live a life that reflects the life of Jesus, but what in the world does Jesus know about poopey diapers and breastfeeding?” I remember this prayer specifically. I was praying it in my head as I pushed 2 snotty, screaming kids through the produce department of the grocery store on the 3rd call night of the week. (That means that Carey had worked A LOT that week and wasn’t coming home that night either). I also remember it specifically because I was startled back to humility when I felt an immediate response to my prayer: “Oh, you don’t think I know about parenting, Little Miss Priss? (My mom would call me by that when I was sassin’ her back in the day. God used it to emphasize my disrespect to Him as my Heavenly Father. Point taken)

There have been other ways that God has taught and encouraged me through scripture on this topic, but yesterday I was blessed to have another revelation. I sat at the top of the stairs with ear plugs in trying to work on a chapter in my Bible study while Hayes did anything to avoid sleep in the room to my left and Aisley threw a massive tantrum in the room to my right. I was reflecting on another conviction about finding joy and peace in God who tells us that His grace is suffiecent. I’m trying to apply this to the areas of weakness in my life, none of which included parenting (I am alone in thinking peace and parenting oxymorons?). But as I sat there trying to block out the screaming, I could just feel the blood boiling inside of me. (I was sitting in the hall because I needed Aisley to stay in bed and being close is the best way to catch her in the act of getting down to play. Otherwise I’d let them fuss it out while I sat in the warm sunshine.) I wanted to throw open that door and land into that child with words spewing so fast and loud that she couldn’t deny my anger or refuse to obey. After all, I’m her mother! How dare she disobey me? But fortunately I’ve seen that this does far more damage than good and by His grace I was able to control that urge.

Then it occurred to me that in that very moment, I’m not at peace. I don’t feel joy. I wasn’t allowing God’s grace to be enough. Wow. Really, God? I have to be at peace and maintain my joy even while being slapped around by the terrible two's?

Most mornings I pray for guidence as a momma. If I happen to forget, you better believe that morning the kids come downstairs and quickly bring me to my knees! :) I can see that God is working on controlling my patience and teaching me to remain gentle through the many cups of spilt milk. But I had never put the two together. God had been showing me how to respond with grace and mercy when my precious babies pushed the limit, but I was never able to see that even during those times I can discipline in love because of the peace and joy I have through Him. Maybe I was slower to start huffing and puffing at the kiddos, but you sure could see that I wasn’t happy and at any moment I might blow the house down. But if I discipline from a place of peace and joy, then those sweet babies will still feel my love while I discipline. Isn’t that a little more Biblically sound than flying off the handle?

Hopefully this is common sense to most of you. Unfortunately though, I see lots of mommas who are just trying to survive the toddler years because they haven’t learned to let that Sunday morning peace and joy stick with them throughout the week.

I feel like I really dropped the ball. I didn't even know about Orphan Sunday until a few days ago and I had no time to actually think through and plan events for our family, much less see if there was anything I could do to promote awareness around the community or at church. Now I know. Next year will be different.

My family will participate in an Orphan's Table meal periodically throughout the year. I think it's an amazing way to actively illustrate to our children why we care so deeply for orphans. Right now Aisley understands they don’t have a family, home, or “things”, but she can’t apply that to her own life or even slightly understand what it really means.
The Orphan’s Table is a meal shared among family, friends, small group, whatever. The meal consists of the same meal an orphan most likely eats every single day, at every meal-if there are multiple meals. The idea is to make the environment as realistic as possible, so sit on cardboard boxes or the floor, use an old tin bowl and wooden spoon, and maybe even share out of one large bowl. (I’ve read that a method such as this is common in Ethiopian culture and we’re being educated on how to handle transitions such as this when our child finally comes home. Pretty wild, huh?!)
http://orphansunday.org/orphans-table/

Do you remember how many orphans there are worldwide? 147 million. That number has SIX zeros behind it, y’all. It’s impossible to imagine. We’re working hard (rather, Christ is working through us) to change the life of one orphan. Maybe two, who knows? But what about the others?

You can sponsor an orphan through many organizations, just make sure it’s legit.
http://www.allgodschildren.org/

You can also do what we did when God first put orphans on our heart. We weren’t sure if we were being called to adopt because finances and timing were all wrong. We weren’t even in a place where we could afford to sponsor a child. But we felt called to become involved somehow and I stumbled upon an organization that fully understands the true need of each orphan: prayer. At the time they had a Prayer Guardian Ministry. If interested you could email them and ask for a child to pray for each day. After a few days they responded to my request and sent me the name of a 6 year old little boy named David who lives in the Ouahigouya Orphanage in Burkina Faso, Africa.
www.warmblankets.org

Orphan Sunday

Today is a new "holiday" in the Watson house. Last week Aisley learned of the word holiday and now associates it with gifts, treats, and school parties. This morning when I began attempting to explain the meaning behind Orphan Sunday she frankly responded with "Mom, I don't want to talk about this". Knowing my softhearted girl well, I could tell that she’s already put up a wall to protect her little heart from the harsh 4-year old interpretation of the orphan reality. I never realized it began this early. I truly believe that much of the problem we, as extremely wealthy and extravagantly comfortable Amercians, face is desensitization to the world’s problems-such as the plight of orphans. It takes us out of our comfort and into a place of guilt, conviction, and sacrifice. Who would choose that when you can just eat your way to happiness or buy it at the mall? Orphans? What orphans? Walls are up in all of our hearts.

Orphan Sunday is a day to remember the orphan and devote yourself to them in prayer. Prayer is the absolute, very best, thing you can do to help orphans. Pray daily. Pray specifically, pray generally, just pray.

This day is also meant to spread awareness and education about the condition and needs of orphans throughout the world and provoke a willingness to intervene.

I’ll post more on this during nap time, but until then I hope you’ll join many in lifting orphans in prayer and allow God to penetrate the walls you’ve built to protect yourself against the many hurts and needs of orphans.