Biya

There are a ton of things I could write about today. So much to share about what we're up to and how the kids are doing. Maybe later this week...maybe.

My heart today, is in Ethiopia. Last week the country celebrated the Ethiopian New Year! Our baby boy started the year 2005 as an orphan but ended it with a waiting family. Doesn't that bring joy to your heart? What a great God we have, who sets the lonely in families! Our prayer is that Biya rang in 2006 knowing that he has a family waiting and will end 2006 in our arms!

We're also celebrating the long awaited USCIS approval to adopt an orphan. Finally! We danced and sang and praised God when that letter finally arrived. What a relief! Now we're sending all of the paperwork we've gathered over the last year to our agency in TN. They'll review it and send it to Ethiopia. There it will be translated and submitted for approval by the Ethiopian government. After they approve us to adopt we'll receive a court date and travel overseas! We've still got about 5 months or longer before that happens though. In the mean time, we'll begin fundraising for the remaining $10,000 in fees. Please pray for God's provision!

Now on to the good stuff...SO exciting!!!



Today I want to finally introduce y'all to our 3rd child. I've wanted to do this for so long but didn't want to break any rules. I started seeing others in the same phase of the process introduce their children in this way and have decided that it's time for all of you to meet the little boy you've been praying for. It's just so exciting!







Carey and I, along with big sis and big brother, proudly introduce our sweet Biya!!!






Isn't this just the most adorable little guy you've never met??? I mean seriously, don't you want to scoop him up and squeeze him to pieces? It kills me, folks. Just kills me. I could gush over him all day. I really could. But I won't because now that you can see his precious little curls and fingers and toes, you can gush for yourself. Please do, gush and pray to bring this sweet baby boy home!

Furry Friends

This will be a short post...unless the emotions and words start flowing freely, which is highly unlikely. I knew one day I would be able to write about how we lost Cash, our sweet and precious 5 year old Great Dane in May. I had no idea I would also be writing about the passing of my very best four legged friend, Emma. My sweet Emma passed away unexpectedly 3 days ago and it will be awhile before I can write about this heartbreak. God is so good though and has given us a peace about it all. For now, don't forget to love on the furry friends God has blessed you with!

Immigrations Round #1

Today we received our updated home study. Yep, that's right, revisions were needed. Let me inform you about this step in the adoption process called Immigrations Round 1. When your home study is approved, the case worker writes everything up in a long report that hits all of the specific points our government and the foreign government is concerned about. Things like mental health, financial stability, ability to overcome difficulties, and willingness to seek professional help when needed. You need the approved home study report in order to move on to the next step in the process-Immigrations. The completed Application for Advanced Processing of Orphan Petition (I-600a) along with brand new state certified copies of our birth and marriage certificates (an unexpected expense) had been sitting on the counter waiting for the home study to arrive. I had gone through the checklist several times, but the excitement got to me on the day the home study arrived and I rushed to send our stuff to the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) office without including the (hefty) processing fee. About midnight I realized my mistake and got to UPS first thing in the morning to overnight the check and an explaination. A week or so later we received our rejection due to improper payment notice from the Department of Homeland Security. A few days afer that we received our check. Bummer. If at first you don't succeed, pay another overnight fee. You better believe I got it right the second time. 

A few weeks passed before we received notification that USCIS was reviewing our application. It also stated that we should expect to receive a biometrics appointment date within 2 weeks. Sure enough, the appointment letter arrived explaining our June 28th fingerprint appointment. The four of us enjoyed a trip into the city, an adventure among towering buildings, and a visit into a federal building. They scanned our fingerprints and sent us off within 10 minutes. It was a breeze.

A month later a little envelope from the Department of Homeland Security found itself in our mailbox. I wanted to be overwhelmed with excitement, but 3 words stamped at the top assured me this wasn't the envelope I was waiting for. It seemed odd that "Return Service Requested" would be necessary if we were approved. It turns out, Carey's fingerprints weren't clear and he would need to try again. At least this time we didn't have to wait for another letter to give us the appointment date, it was included. Luckily the grumps at the USCIS office were overpowered by someone who must have been God-sent because the next day they squeezed Carey in without an appoitment. The angel even called Carey that evening to assure him that this time, the FBI accepted his prints. Have you ever heard of someone in a governemnt office calling a perfect stranger after closing time on a Friday? Just to reassure him things went well? That is beyond crazy. That is God.

Fast forward another 10 days. An envelope from the Department of Homeland Security arrives. This time I could see pink paper inside. Pink paper is only good for baby shower invitations, folks. This was an invitation to try again...again. We were rejected because our home study states we had never been the subjects of an unfavorable home study and did not clearly state that we had never been rejected as potential adoptive parents. Isn't that the SAME THING??? Whatever. You say tomato, I say God is in control. 

Our home study agency said this was the 2nd time they've ever had this issue with the exact wording of the phrase. They were on it and would have our revision to us by the end of the week. Except that our case worker was on vacation and it was actually a week and a half later before we received our new and improved home study report. 

That brings us to today. Home study in and right back out, overnight of course, to USCIS. They've raked over our application and probably tapped our phones. Maybe they'll be consistant and send us our approval in 10 days.   :)

PS-no grammar or spell check. I apologize, friends.

Little Man

Hayes is our little man now. He lives up to every expectation of raising a boy: covered in dirt, prefers sticks over toys, can't get him inside, best friend has fur and 4 legs. This rough and rowdy kid has a soft side though, particularly for his momma and sister. He asks about his Biya Brother all the time and cant wait to share his new farm-themed bedroom with him. Hayes also continues to mourn the loss of his best bud, Cash. 

Hayes:

2 years old-almost 3!

Favorite song: Old McDonald and Nothing But the Blood (of Jesus). I couldn't make that up if I wanted to folks.

Favorite Color: orange

Favorite Book: Good Night, Good Night Construction Site and a series of tractor books

Wants to be a daddy when he grows up. 

Loves: Guns, tractors, farm animals, legos

Won't hardly wear it if it isn't camo or tractor attire. He got blue tropical print swim trunks as a gift-refuses to even look at them. Plaid? If I beg and plead. I had to buy him black Wranglers to wear in Aunt T's wedding because there was no way he'd get into a suit. This kid is country, even in Ohio where country isn't cool. 

Weird fact: He has always hated pillow cases. I put them on his pillow, he takes it right off. Who does that???

He got a short hair cut in June because he was so sweaty and his hair was in his eyes. He hates it. When I try to fix his hair he asks me if I can make it long and in his face again. 

Still sucks that thumb-which he insists is NOT a finger.

I'm a BIG kid now!

These kiddos I have are growing fast. Time is here and gone before I slow down long enough to realize it. My sweet Aisley just turned 5 and we're taking another year with her before sending her off to kindergarden. I'm so thankful for this last year before all-day school begins. She'll continue at her preschool but will make a jump from 3 afternoons to 5 afternoons in school. I have to cherish these mornings we have together and will be making a list of the things we want to do while we still can-like go to the zoo on a week day, and have a lunch picnic in the park, those things that you take for granted the 5 years before all-day school begins.

For her birthday she got a new kitty. This cat is a saint. The kind of saint that tolerates being shoved into a baby stroller, carried around like an infant all.day.long, and ornery little brothers dragging him around the house by 1 paw. A saint. Forget miracles after his death, if you knew what this cat endured you would agree.

Let me tell you about Aisley:

Plays with: Littlest Pet Shop, Barbies, baby dolls, My Little Pony, dress up

Listens to: K-Love and sings along with all the song (yay!) and instrumental

Reads: Junie B. Jones, Fancy Nancy, Amelia Bedila (with mommy, of course)

Wants to be a singer when she grows up. Sometimes she wants to be a mommy too, but sometimes mommies are mean and she doesn't want to be mean ;)

She loves doing random acts of kindness for all of our neighbors, but it could kill her to do one for her little brother.

Adores animals, especially cats. Mr. Kitty was her adoption choice from the animal orphanage. 

Loves dancing, riding her bike (with training wheels), and will sit for hours if you'll scratch her back. Touch is this girl's love language and it's obvious by the way she needs to be held, cuddle, tickled, and loved on. 

A sweet, sweet blessing is she. My little princess.

Family picture June 2013

God's Faithfulness

Today I want to focus on God’s faithfulness. You may remember that we started our adoption journey against all odds. Timing was tricky because Carey only had these 2 research years to get in the 1st trip to Ethiopia. Both parents have to be present in court for the 1st trip but only 1 parent has to be present for the 2nd and final trip. We need to travel before July of 2014. We’re still pushing this and are fully relying on God. Finances were even trickier. Read http://waywardwatsons.blogspot.com/2012/09/areas-of-concern.html to get a full understanding of where we began. A year ago we began our 1st research year with $20,000 worth of credit card debt. God provided all we needed to pay off our debt in less than a year. Did you hear that, folks? GOD WAS FAITHFUL. We were also able to pay the $200 background check fees, $890 immigration approval fee, and $6,000 agency fee. WOW. Isn’t that unheard of?!? I’m still in shock. Carey worked like a dog doing extra moonlighting shifts and we had everything we needed to pay the agency fee required before we could be given our referral. All the details were taken care of, God provided for everything! We want to be sure to give him all of the praise!

Back...again!

We disappeared for a few months, but we’re back stronger than ever! This week I’ll spend time going through general updates on the kiddos, Carey’s research, TFI, and our adoption. You can also find all of our previous adoption updates on our facebook page https://www.facebook.com/watsonadoption.

I’ll begin with the adoption.

In May I went with my TFI family to the Christian Alliance for Orphans annual conference. On my way out of town we got word that we needed to update our medical forms before our home study could be finalized. The forms can’t be more than 6 months old and the kids’ medical exams were expiring within a day or two. My husband being the superstar that he is was able to take care of all of this while watching the kiddos for the first extended amount of time.

The conference was in Nashville, the same place our agency Small World Adoptions, is located. Since we’ve never met them face to face, my inner Duck Commander came out and this Momma hunted them down. I’m pretty sure they thought I was stalking them-who is this weird lady waiting at our booth at 7:45 in the morning? My goal was to simply introduce myself and finally put a face to a name. It turned out to be a much more meaningful interaction. During the months we worked on completing our home study we felt God preparing us more and more for a special needs adoption. We always felt led that direction, but were confused when no special needs children were coming through our agency. I’d spent much time in prayer on the matter and honestly was frustrated with God when I wasn’t seeing my answer. But standing in that huge room surround by hundreds of people, I was surprised when the question slipped out:

“Are there any special needs children waiting?”

It felt like time stood still while Jimbo thought about his answer.

“The only special needs we have are HIV+.”

I was surprised when my heart sank. HIV is modern-day leprosy and we all know how Jesus felt about that. (If you don’t know, Jesus was known to heal lepers. He seemed to have a heart for outcasts ;)

“Oh wait!”

My heart leaped. I was clinging to this “wait”. This “wait” could be my son or daughter. It’s funny how in those moments everything really does seem to fade away. I’ll never forget my head spinning with dozens of thoughts, the crowds of people pushing by me turned into a blur, and my heart pounding through my chest. I didn’t expect to be so caught up by this question and I certainly wasn’t prepared for an answer. Ready or not…

“ a little boy named Biya”

Jimbo searched his memory for more.

“He’s 9 months old, cutest little guy… and has some sort of partial paralysis.”

Maybe he had you at “hello”, but he had me at “partial paralysis”. I’m weird like that. It must have been written all over my face because Jimbo just kept gushing about this baby. My baby. Before I walked away from their booth I made sure Jimbo knew that we were 1st in line for that boy and that he would have our finalized home study waiting on him when he got back to the office. I knew there was a good chance someone could sweep Biya away before we were given the official referral, but as I walked away from the conversation I found myself fighting back tears of joy. I knew I only wanted the child God had been preparing us for, but I sincerely hoped Biya was the one.

Bless Carey; he missed out on that one. His first introduction to our potential son came through a slur of text messages ending in excessive exclamation points. I’m pretty sure he was just as surprised and amazed as I was. Neither of us expected a possible referral at this stage of the process and I was pleasantly surprised when he seemed to have fallen in love with this little Biya.

We received the official referral for our Biya on May 21 and promptly consulted with the International Adoption Clinic at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. After several days of prayer and reviewing the info gathered by the medical team, we signed the intent to adopt this sweet little guy.

Stay tuned for more about Biya’s medical condition, to see how God did amazing things for us financially, and to learn more about the process after the referral.

Introductions and Adoption Rollercoaster

You haven’t heard from me in a while, but I’ve been thinking of you. I find myself wondering what topic to write about. Life as a medical spouse? Updates on the kiddos? Adoption? It paralyzes me and I don’t write about anything! I think we’ve got some new friends through our adoption journey so I think I’ll take some time today and introduce or reintroduce the Watson Family.


Daddy Watson (Carey) is in the middle of his 1st year of research as a general surgery resident in Cincinnati. The program is a total of 7 years, two of which are for required research. In July he completed the two intern years, now he’s doing research and out of clinical rotations. In July of 2014 he will abandon research and jump back into 3 years of clinical rotations as a chief surgical resident. We’ve been in Cincinnati 2.5 years and are both from Texas. It wasn’t an easy transition for any of us, but we’ve grown in ways we couldn’t have experienced without these challenges.
Aisley Grace is our 4 year old daughter and is a tenderhearted little ball of sweetness. She’s very timid and shy initially, but has really found her voice this year! We’re sensing an introvert in the making because she certainly needs her quiet time to decompress, but when comfortable in her environment she can certainly impress in a loud and energetic way!


Hayes Lane is our 2 year old rough and rowdy redneck! I have to admit I was devastated to bring him into the world in a Yankee hospital, but he doesn’t seem to know he’s out of the South! Give this boy a camo hat and pile of dirt, and he’s the happiest boy alive!


We still have all of our furry, 4-legged friends: our Great Dane, Case; shelter rescue, Emma; and barn cat, Kitty Texas. We’ve seen a change in Emma and Cash as they advance through middle age, or maybe as they parent these toddlers!
I’m Momma Watson (Lacy) and a SAHM. God has drawn me closer to Him through my struggles as a medical spouse 1300 miles away from home. Carey does work A LOT, but I’ve been blessed by an amazing church family and friends who are now family. They go above and beyond to encourage and care for our family when we’re stretched.
As Carey and I grew in our faith over the last 2 years, we began feeling a tug in our hearts for orphans. Because of his work at Children’s Hospital, Carey began to see children at the mercy of the foster care system. He saw parents who weren’t involved and didn’t participate in the care of their children. He witnessed nurses and caretakers trying their best to love and even teach these kids while their parents refused to even show up. God was opening his heart to the need of abandoned children and he had no idea.


Meanwhile, God lead me on a similar path. It seemed like I couldn’t read a book, follow a blog, or listen to a sermon without hearing about the needs of orphans overseas. My heart broke as I learned of their life in institutions, the lack of care takes, and their desperate need for love. But we couldn’t adopt. Medical school, a cross country move, and some bad financial choices, left us scraping by. Actually, we were just digging a deeper hole of debt. Even though we knew there was no way we could afford the $40,000 adoption price tag, even though we knew there was very little chance of us being approved for adoption because of our financial worksheet, even though it is unheard of and we are crazy in the eyes of our peers for adopting during surgical residency…we couldn’t quiet God’s voice. We had to take the leap of faith that led us to our Ethiopian adoption journey.


We began fundraising by selling adoption bracelets through Etsy. God blessed our efforts. We found a faith-based adoption agency that saw our income potential and were willing to accept us. We found an awesome local home study agency that is patient and understanding through our looong paperwork process.
But then…the rollercoaster began. Our adoption agency informed us that their Ethiopia license wasn’t going to be renewed at this time and we should move on to another country. Carey wasn’t shaken by this at all, but I was crushed. I was devastated. I had poured my soul into learning and praying and dreaming about the people and culture of Ethiopia. These were my people. They were gracious enough to birth and care for my child. They were selfless enough to surrender one of their own to a total strangers across the world. My heart was broken for my child and the trauma it was experiencing. Tears fell for the birth parents of my child as they died, were forced to surrender their baby, or willingly abandoned a baby. None of those situations leave you with peace. All of those situations are begging for grace. So I cried and prayed for them and this only brought me closer to them. Closer to Ethiopia. Another country just wouldn’t do. God encouraged us to wait for Ethiopia. So we did.


We asked our home study agency if they would consider us for their Ethiopia program. They politely said that they are a very conservative adoption agency and it might be worth the effort to find a less conservative agency for the actually adoption (they are still our home study agency). They did however; find out what was going on with our adoption agency for us. It seems our agency wasn’t actually licensed in Ethiopia. They were “piggybacking” off of their orphanage in Ethiopia. They weren’t expected to get their license back anytime soon-if ever. Ouch.
God continued to encourage us and we found Ethiopia again through a different adoption agency. Things fell into place easily and it seemed like we might actually be able to transfer our home study and begin the process quickly. But then they dropped us. Like a bad date they didn’t get back to us and didn’t respond. We felt like we had hit our last and final dead end.


Then out of the blue we received an email from our original agency stating that they were granted approval to renew their license in April and their existing license was good-effective immediately! What a mess, huh? We’ve been through so many highs and lows and we’re still in the home study process! We’ve decided to move forward with our original agency. We’re hesitant. We’re cautious. But we both agree that it’s worth the risk considering we have no other options. God has provided everything we’ve needed so far and we trust His will, to Africa or not.

Prayer over schools

I can’t pretend that I know anything about the trauma and grief that the people in CT are living and feeling today. I can’t assume that I mourn with them or relate on any level. I cannot. And I can’t attempt to explain why God allowed this horrific tragedy to happen. I absolutely cannot fathom the depth of knowledge (for lack of a better word) of my God. I know He is sovereign Every. Single. Day. That is what I can cling to during times like this.

Another thing I can’t do is discuss gun control. I have strong opinions regarding this but honestly, don’t go there with me for a while. These families deserve so much more than to turn this tragedy into a political quarrel. Even more important than that, God deserves so much more. How quickly we jump to gun control and ignore the absence of God in our lives! Do you really think taking away a gun is going to solve the issue of violence? Fellow brother and sister in Christ, I’m looking you dead in the eyes and challenging you! Was Jesus concerned with weapons? Would He handle this situation this way? No, I don’t believe this is the approach He’d take. I believe He’d have us repent and pray. Prayer? You know that thing you can still do anytime, anywhere, for anyone?
Yes, I’m fired up. I’m angry at the situation, the response to the situation, and myself. I write this post out of personal conviction knowing that I’ve felt convicted to set up a prayer group at my daughter’s preschool for a year now. Did I? No. Do you pray for your child’s school, students, and staff? We may not have prayer in school, but you can’t stop me from praying for the school. Hear me clearly now, I am in no way implying that this event occurred because the CT school wasn’t being prayed over. Neither am I hoping that prayer will prevent bad things from happening. However, I do believe in the power of prayer and if I do not begin praying over my daughter’s school, it’s out of obvious selfishness and rebellion against God. I’d like to challenge you reader, to consider praying over your school. Last year I began to pray for Aisley’s school on my own using this resource: http://www.momsintouch.org/
You can use any format, organization, or group that you want. The point is to gather in the name of Christ and pray faithfully over the school, staff, and children. Begin with an attitude of reverence and thanksgiving for the school, praising God for all of our blessings. Then cover the school in prayer not only for safety from terrible situations, but for the children’s’ innocence, salvation, courage, integrity, health, and kind hearts. Pray that the staff will have renewed patience, gentleness, kindness, strength, and tolerance. Pray for each person’s family and home life. Pray for specific situations as they arise.

Why wouldn’t we pray for the people who spend most of the day with our children? Why wouldn’t we be concerned with the home life of the peers who directly influence our precious children? Can’t we see how they encourage and nurture each other or bully and torment each other?

Pardon me for wondering why we’re so quick to blame gun control when we should really be doing a little Christian soul searching. Maybe if we focused more on what we as individuals should be doing, we wouldn’t have to argue about guns.
I have to conclude that as a Christian who is humbly and imperfectly trying to live a Biblical life, if I’m worried about gun control, I’m not focused on the right thing. Today, out of respect for the victims in CT and in trust that God uses all things for our good and His glory, I’m committing to doing my part to make something good of this situation. Tomorrow I will approach our preschool and join an existing prayer group or begin one. I hope you will consider doing the same. The above link offers awesome resources for this kind of group. Let’s makes some real and permanent changes for the Kingdom, friends. Let’s focus our hearts not on what’s seen, but what is unseen.

Updates...again.

Blogging is very intimidating! Part of me thinks “My! Aren’t you full of yourself? Throwing your opinions out there as if anyone really wants to read them!” Another part of me is totally defeated by comparison to spiritually mature bloggers who have wisdom and experience to back their opinions. For now, I’ll continue to sort through life, parenting, adoption, and faith the best I can for those of you who choose to follow. Maybe you’ll learn from my mistakes. :)


On to the exciting news: the whole in the wall is done! YAY! We no longer have a live electrical wire dangling from the ceiling or chunks of plaster falling from the walls. It’s beautiful and FINISHED! Even better is the fact that we PASSED our fire inspection! This is HUGE, y’all!


Want more? We’ve completed all of our online training and are 95% finished with all paperwork! Can you believe it? I can’t. I never thought I’d get through that personal profile. Yuck!


It’s becoming very real now. Here’s what lies ahead:

Wrap up the home study:
We’ll meet with our case worker several times, do a home safety inspection, and pray that he approves us for adoption. If he approves us we’ll move to the next step. If he doesn’t, we’ll humbly send letters of apology and return checks to our kind supporters. But I’m confident this is God’s route for us, so let’s move on to the next step.

Dossier:
This is a whole mess of paperwork very similar to what was submitted for the home study, but in more detail. Copies of bank statements, proof of ownership, certified and notarized this, that, and the other. It’s a long list of things that don’t require me to psychoanalyze myself and for that, I’m grateful. Once everything is perfect, the home study and dossier will be sent to the Ethiopian Embassy for authentication and translation.

Then we wait for a referral. I’ve decided not to discuss the referal until our home study is approved. I don’t want to get too far ahead.

For now, please join us in praying for a successful and approved home study!

How about an adoption update?


I wish I could give you more, but there really is no news. We’re so close to finishing up paperwork and training and should get the remodeling done in the next week or two. I’m not sure if I’ve actually explained much about the paperwork I keep mentioning, so let me elaborate. Carey and I have to be cleared at the local, state, and federal levels in regards to child endangerment history or any other criminal record. We submit all financial statements, bank statements, proof of house, car, medical, insurance, proof that insurance will cover the adopted child, proof of life insurance, proof of employment, tax documents, proof of pet vaccinations, medical statements for all four of us, 7 lengthy referrals, many notarized forms, individual profiles, 10 hours of online training, and the super difficult educational workbook. Once we’ve completed and gathered everything we’re required to submit, we’ll have a fire inspection done, and finally start meeting with our caseworker and he’ll do the home safety audit.


I’ve had friends who flew through this process and didn’t have a single bump in the road. I am certainly not that person.


For instance: there were about 25 cans of paint stored in our basement within a few feet of the water heater and furnace. Oops! There were “dangerous” items in every room of our house: screws, scissors, tools, medicine, cleaning products. Obviously they weren’t in a place where my kiddos could get them, but they all have to be stored appropriately and locked. I had to remove the old fashion hinge locks from the closets upstairs and remove the pile of toys, shoes, and jackets typically stored at the foot of the stairs because the interfere with our fire escape route.


Fire escape route? Yes. They should be posted on each level of the house and there should be proof of routine fire drills. Aisley did not handle this well. In her sweet little mind, the thought of a fire ever causing her to climb out her bedroom window had never occurred. Terrified. Yes, she is. I’ve damaged my child.


Also, let me say that the amount of personal reflection required through our workbook is gruesome. Everyone has some sort of baggage from their past, it’s what shapes us as a person, giving us unique approaches and contributions to life. I just wasn’t aware of some of my baggage. Not only have I damaged my child, now I’m ripping open my own wounds and pouring salt in them. Ok, that was totally exaggerated. :) The reflection part hasn’t been easy, but I think it will be helpful in understanding and adapting to the needs of my loved ones.


Finally, we have updates on finances. I hesitate to mention this because it’s such a tiny issue and there’s so much more to our adoption story than stinkin’ money, but I truly believe that this is an area where God is going to move mountains and I want to be careful to give Him all of the glory for our success. In order to do that, it’s important to be as humble as possible and plainly state that He has brought in enough through Carey’s extra shifts, donations, bracelet sales to cover all home study related fees, repair the wall and electrical issue, and put down new flooring. (Flooring: this is a new problem and it’s totally not cosmetic. Last year I had enough of the stinky, stained carpet in our living room. I took it upon myself to impulsively rip it up and take a chance on what was below. Luckily, there was beautiful, original, wood flooring below, but it was parquet wood tiling. We hoped it would last a few years but one by one, the 72 year old tiles popped up, cracked, and broke. We tried all sorts of different adhesive techniques, and finally had to admit defeat last week when we realized the floor was a major safety issue because of its uneven surface and risk of asbestos. Fortunately, we live in a tiny house and won’t be buying thousands of square feet of flooring!)


We still have a huge hurdle ahead of us: home study approval. We were approved to apply for adoption, now we have to have home study approval to move forward. Once we start meeting with our caseworker, he’ll evaluate our mental, emotional, physical, and financial, ability to adopt. I hope I’m not ahead of myself or deceived in saying that I’m confident that we’ll pass 3 out of those four areas. My faith is in God as He continues to mature us and provide for us financially.


Continue to remember our journey in prayer, especially our little one in waiting. Thanks, friends!

Christmas with toddlers

So, how's your Christmas shopping going? Is anyone else torn to pieces this time of year when it comes to spending and giving? You'd think after all of my ranting about the poverty crises of the world, that I wouldn't have much of a battle, but I do. I really do. I LOVE giving gifts. I especially love giving them to a rotten pair of toddlers around here. But about 5o thousand times a day I kick, trip over, and sit on, an abundance of toys. Check the crevasses of my couch and you’ll find a dozen pet shop critters, handfuls of legos, and a remote or two. All of this along with the mounds of toys in the basement and closets prove that we DO NOT need any more toys. And yet…there will be toys for Christmas. Unless Aisley gets her way and Santa brings her a white pony. (Dear Santa, she’s already got a white pony. See picture below.)

Fortunately for me, the grandparents are all awesome gift givers. That leaves only a few things for us to give from Santa. This year Santa is bringing the Let’s Play School Doll from Nenuco and Alphie the learning robot. Santa and the grandparents will undoubtedly score major points as Aisley is now old enough to realize that Mom and Dad only added to the book collection. So lame.


This year I’ve decided to involve the kids in the thrill of giving gifts by hanging a few extra stockings on the mantel. Aisley will have the privilege of praying for and filling the stocking of her sponsored friend from Ethiopia; Elsie, the sweet little lady across the street; and our dear friend Ron, a special needs man we adore from a block over. She’ll pick out a sweet treat and small gift for each of the neighbors and several tiny treasures to send to Ethiopia. These aren’t big tasks, but hopefully over time she’ll create Christmas memories that are Christ centered instead of self centered. What are some ways you teach the true meaning of Christmas to your toddlers?

Giving Tuesday

It's Giving Tuesday! Why not give AND receive? Start buy filling stockings with our adoption bracelet. Click on our etsy link to shop with meaning!

Thankful

I’m so thankful for you, friend. Thanks for following us through life. :)

Sheep or Goats?

If you’re getting tired of reading about my convictions and how we should give to the poor, well, you might as well skip to my next post. Maybe it’ll make you feel nice and fuzzy inside. :)

For several months I’ve struggled with convictions about loving my neighbor as myself and giving to the least of these. I, for one, do not want to be one of the goats to the left. I’ve also struggled with how to love the Lord your God, with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your strength, while maintaining my existing priorities. And where exactly is my heart if my treasure is in my children? Paul’s life demonstrated clearly that to live is Christ. What does my life demonstrate? To live is… food? Sleeping? Bible studies? Throw a little James in there and a sermon series on stewardship and I’m a wrecked ship!

Now, let’s get one thing out of the way. This isn’t a salvation issue. There’s grace, faith, and works. For a while now, God has been addressing the works. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve prayed for guidance in this department or combed over scripture looking for clear answers. Forgive me for repetition of the word struggle. I really don’t know how else to describe it. As I ran through scripture and visualized the early church, my struggle only deepened. It seems to me that when you consider the teaching of the gospels, study the context in which they are written, breakdown their Hebrew and Greek origins… certain passages still read the same.

Granted, a few minor details have changed with the times, but I can’t seem to get past the fact that if I love God with all of my heart, but don’t love His people as myself, then I kinda don’t really love God with all of my heart. This bothers me, which is a good sign, so I pray for God to break my heart and open my eyes. You know, the same lyrics we all sing in the car, but secretly hope God won’t really act on. Well actually, at first I had to pray for God to give me the desire to pray for those things because I didn’t truly want to pray to feel the pain of others. He heard this request and granted it. Soon I sincerely begged for God to open my eyes and break my heart for others. This too, He granted.

Combine a broken heart for others with total confusion of the New Testament and you get my ship wreck. I’m at a place where I’m totally uncomfortable claiming my devotion to this amazing, incredible, sovereign God, while turning my back on His hurting people and clear commands to care for them. But what does this look like in my life? Am I truly called to surrender all?

This discussion came up recently and left me further in a hole. If God loves us, does He want us to give so much that we can’t take care of ourselves? Do we serve more than we tend to our children? Is it wrong to save and plan for the future? That evening left me with more questions and deeper conviction. I would like to think that God finally led me to this conclusion: He asks differently of each of us at different times. How much more can He be glorified when we’re asked to give in the most inconvenient times? Since we each have our own timelines it makes perfect sense that my answers didn’t align with others’ during the discussion. It doesn’t make anyone right or wrong.

As for my own conviction, tonight before writing I “stumbled upon” 1 John 3:16-18:

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

I know for certain that I’m going to live this out imperfectly. I know that I still rely heavily on emotion and that interferes with my ability to listen and obey when the Holy Spirit nudges me. I also know that I’m young, naïve, and unsettled in many ways, and these will sometimes make it a little easier to give in to impulse and resist the status quo if asked to do so. My goal is to make it a habit now to put others before myself and resist the urge to get comfortable in life. No comfort here is worth being a goat on the left.

:)

Peace, Love, Joy, Parenting?

There are 3 topics that I’ve wanted to write about lately and I hate that I’ll only cover one of them today. Today I’ll discuss how God is moving in my heart concerning parenting, but look for a post about Being Comfy and The Many Blessings of Adoption Fundraising soon.
I’m just so grateful that God chose to use ordinary men and women to illustrate His promises and lessons through the words of the Bible, aren’t you? Imagine how much more difficult it would be to understand Jesus’ teachings if he didn’t use James (his brother who lived under the same roof as God in the flesh and didn’t believe, even mocked him!), Peter (who’s emotional instability and fits of anger I totally relate to), and Paul (who’s prestigious life serves as an example of how to die to ourselves).

I’ve been stuck on certain convictions for a while now and I’m so grateful that God is faithful to reveal answers in His own time. One area that I’ve been praying over for many, many, months is in the parenting department. I recognized long ago that I’m incapable of being the kind of parent that God desires me to be if I don’t ask Him to guide me in this area. In my months of prayer God has opened my eyes to different ways to show my sweet babies love, mercy, and grace, but it isn’t always easy. I find many times that I want to throw a temper tantrum right along with them- and often do!

About a year ago I remember thinking that I’m supposed to mirror Christ’s love in this parenting gig, so I should look at His life and find some examples to use as I go. It didn’t take long to realize that Jesus didn’t have kids. You won’t be surprised to know that in my own self righteousness and lack of humility, I sure did approach God with this prayer: “God, I know that you tell me to trust in you and you will direct my path and I should give everything in me to live a life that reflects the life of Jesus, but what in the world does Jesus know about poopey diapers and breastfeeding?” I remember this prayer specifically. I was praying it in my head as I pushed 2 snotty, screaming kids through the produce department of the grocery store on the 3rd call night of the week. (That means that Carey had worked A LOT that week and wasn’t coming home that night either). I also remember it specifically because I was startled back to humility when I felt an immediate response to my prayer: “Oh, you don’t think I know about parenting, Little Miss Priss? (My mom would call me by that when I was sassin’ her back in the day. God used it to emphasize my disrespect to Him as my Heavenly Father. Point taken)

There have been other ways that God has taught and encouraged me through scripture on this topic, but yesterday I was blessed to have another revelation. I sat at the top of the stairs with ear plugs in trying to work on a chapter in my Bible study while Hayes did anything to avoid sleep in the room to my left and Aisley threw a massive tantrum in the room to my right. I was reflecting on another conviction about finding joy and peace in God who tells us that His grace is suffiecent. I’m trying to apply this to the areas of weakness in my life, none of which included parenting (I am alone in thinking peace and parenting oxymorons?). But as I sat there trying to block out the screaming, I could just feel the blood boiling inside of me. (I was sitting in the hall because I needed Aisley to stay in bed and being close is the best way to catch her in the act of getting down to play. Otherwise I’d let them fuss it out while I sat in the warm sunshine.) I wanted to throw open that door and land into that child with words spewing so fast and loud that she couldn’t deny my anger or refuse to obey. After all, I’m her mother! How dare she disobey me? But fortunately I’ve seen that this does far more damage than good and by His grace I was able to control that urge.

Then it occurred to me that in that very moment, I’m not at peace. I don’t feel joy. I wasn’t allowing God’s grace to be enough. Wow. Really, God? I have to be at peace and maintain my joy even while being slapped around by the terrible two's?

Most mornings I pray for guidence as a momma. If I happen to forget, you better believe that morning the kids come downstairs and quickly bring me to my knees! :) I can see that God is working on controlling my patience and teaching me to remain gentle through the many cups of spilt milk. But I had never put the two together. God had been showing me how to respond with grace and mercy when my precious babies pushed the limit, but I was never able to see that even during those times I can discipline in love because of the peace and joy I have through Him. Maybe I was slower to start huffing and puffing at the kiddos, but you sure could see that I wasn’t happy and at any moment I might blow the house down. But if I discipline from a place of peace and joy, then those sweet babies will still feel my love while I discipline. Isn’t that a little more Biblically sound than flying off the handle?

Hopefully this is common sense to most of you. Unfortunately though, I see lots of mommas who are just trying to survive the toddler years because they haven’t learned to let that Sunday morning peace and joy stick with them throughout the week.

I feel like I really dropped the ball. I didn't even know about Orphan Sunday until a few days ago and I had no time to actually think through and plan events for our family, much less see if there was anything I could do to promote awareness around the community or at church. Now I know. Next year will be different.

My family will participate in an Orphan's Table meal periodically throughout the year. I think it's an amazing way to actively illustrate to our children why we care so deeply for orphans. Right now Aisley understands they don’t have a family, home, or “things”, but she can’t apply that to her own life or even slightly understand what it really means.
The Orphan’s Table is a meal shared among family, friends, small group, whatever. The meal consists of the same meal an orphan most likely eats every single day, at every meal-if there are multiple meals. The idea is to make the environment as realistic as possible, so sit on cardboard boxes or the floor, use an old tin bowl and wooden spoon, and maybe even share out of one large bowl. (I’ve read that a method such as this is common in Ethiopian culture and we’re being educated on how to handle transitions such as this when our child finally comes home. Pretty wild, huh?!)
http://orphansunday.org/orphans-table/

Do you remember how many orphans there are worldwide? 147 million. That number has SIX zeros behind it, y’all. It’s impossible to imagine. We’re working hard (rather, Christ is working through us) to change the life of one orphan. Maybe two, who knows? But what about the others?

You can sponsor an orphan through many organizations, just make sure it’s legit.
http://www.allgodschildren.org/

You can also do what we did when God first put orphans on our heart. We weren’t sure if we were being called to adopt because finances and timing were all wrong. We weren’t even in a place where we could afford to sponsor a child. But we felt called to become involved somehow and I stumbled upon an organization that fully understands the true need of each orphan: prayer. At the time they had a Prayer Guardian Ministry. If interested you could email them and ask for a child to pray for each day. After a few days they responded to my request and sent me the name of a 6 year old little boy named David who lives in the Ouahigouya Orphanage in Burkina Faso, Africa.
www.warmblankets.org

Orphan Sunday

Today is a new "holiday" in the Watson house. Last week Aisley learned of the word holiday and now associates it with gifts, treats, and school parties. This morning when I began attempting to explain the meaning behind Orphan Sunday she frankly responded with "Mom, I don't want to talk about this". Knowing my softhearted girl well, I could tell that she’s already put up a wall to protect her little heart from the harsh 4-year old interpretation of the orphan reality. I never realized it began this early. I truly believe that much of the problem we, as extremely wealthy and extravagantly comfortable Amercians, face is desensitization to the world’s problems-such as the plight of orphans. It takes us out of our comfort and into a place of guilt, conviction, and sacrifice. Who would choose that when you can just eat your way to happiness or buy it at the mall? Orphans? What orphans? Walls are up in all of our hearts.

Orphan Sunday is a day to remember the orphan and devote yourself to them in prayer. Prayer is the absolute, very best, thing you can do to help orphans. Pray daily. Pray specifically, pray generally, just pray.

This day is also meant to spread awareness and education about the condition and needs of orphans throughout the world and provoke a willingness to intervene.

I’ll post more on this during nap time, but until then I hope you’ll join many in lifting orphans in prayer and allow God to penetrate the walls you’ve built to protect yourself against the many hurts and needs of orphans.

Pushing Forward

This week was a struggle in perseverance. I'm fortunate to have begun a Bible study on James a few weeks ago, so the material is fresh. The problem with this kind of struggle is that it's all relative. I'm battling my own selfishness and lack of self-discipline made evident through my irritability, lack of patience, and little progress. But then I realize these battles are only against myself and fail to compare to the true test of perseverance experienced outside of the world's wealthiest few. Did you know:

26,000 children will die of starvation or preventable disease TODAY?

Close to 2 billion others live on less than $2 a day???

I pray the inconvenience of guilt plagues you every time you waste your money on useless crap. I pray the burden of this world cries out to you every single time you swipe that card for more shoes, coffee, blonde highlights, and Chick-fil-A.

I can wish this on you friend, because it almost paralyzes me. I can't spend a penny without considering these statistics and yet, we're still working through ten years of bad financial decisions and have to resist therapeutic shopping at Target each week. I'm not above or beyond this sin or this burden, so I can wish it on you too.

Harsh? Consider this:

North American Christians give 5 cents of every $100 earned to overseas missions.

Did you catch that? 5 cents!!!

Do you want to know what's wrong with the world today, folks?

It ain't Obama, Romney, MTV, McDonald's or video games.

It's that we don't care about anyone other than the big M-E.

The average American income is $42,409 making us the world's richest 2.5%.

Don't ya feel rich? Don't ya feel blessed? No? Could it be that mortgage, credit card payments, or new car your paying on? (That's what it is in the Watson household. I'm preaching at myself through personal conviction, y'all :)

We got a letter last week from a family in Ethiopia describing their life and home. They live in a wood and corrugated metal room. Room, friend. Mom, Dad, 6 year old Demie, and her 3 siblings live in this room. I hope you can imagine how reading that letter rocked my world as I sit in my comfy, cozy home paying my credit card bills.

Some of you are thinking "No way! My great-grandparents busted their tails and so did everyone else in my family to get us where we are today! I'll be danged if I'm gonna just give it away!" Friend, nothing that you or anyone else achieved was possible aside from the grace of God. It isn't yours! He can take it a whole lot quicker than you can make it, that's for sure. You'll cling to it all the way to the grave where you'll ROLL OVER when you see who it goes to after that last nail's put it.

All of my ranting and raging comes down to this: we blame the teachers for poor grades, technology for mislead youth, the church for a loss of morals, doctors forbad health choices, and the government for everything else. But what would happen if we actually modeled the behavior we want to see? What if we sat our kids down at the kitchen table to do their homework and limited their gadget time (and our own!)? What if we live out the morals the preacher teaches? What if we put down that fried goodness and diet coke and became active in the community? Well, that would require some major effort, wouldn't it? We might have to make some tough sacrifices, huh? Oh man, that might even require you to live a bit less selfishly!

So how does this relate to the 6,000 who die in Africa from AIDS each day? What does this have to do with the 1room hut and world poverty? It all comes down to who you want to be a slave to. Will you continue to see only yourself in this overwhelming sea of need or will you sacrifice more than 5 cents?

Celebrate!!!

We’re so excited to celebrate great news with you! Our home study is paid in full! We sold about 175 bracelets ($1,800) and were given donations from some amazingly generous people. Isn’t that crazy??? God is faithfully providing and YOU are generously praying, encouraging, supporting, sharing, and giving. THANK YOU! We are so blessed by your willingness to actively participate in changing our child’s life forever. Doesn’t it feel good to be part of this journey? Doesn’t it feel good to know you obeyed when the Holy Spirit nudged you to get involved? And this is only the beginning! I can’t wait until the day we get the referral call. I can’t wait to tell you that the agency called about a (girl/boy), __ years old. I can’t wait to receive the email with his/her picture and to be able to describe the perfect eyes, nose, and cheeks, of our newest addition.

That phone call is still a year or two away. Before that, you’ll join us in celebrating the passing of the fire inspection, safety inspection, and the home study approval. Of course, there are some major financial milestones to reach too. We’re facing the largest fees in the whole process: Agency Fees. Our agency fee is $6,000 and the foreign agency fee is another $6,000. $12,000 in agency fees due upfront before we can move on in the process.
Ouch. That’s a serious ouch! 800 bracelets, folks. 800! I think this is when we would do best to start praying. What’s $12,000 to God? Nothing. A drop in the bucket to the creator of the universe. He commands us to care for orphans and I trust that He’ll provide. Will you join us in this petition? Will you pray that He moves in hearts this giving season? Will you lift your voice to Him on our behalf?